I've literally never left feedback on one of these types of posts before, and I don't know how to offer advice to change anything, but I feel like I would want to be aware if this were me, so I could work on things. You seem to mostly play Neal like a jerk. I know that everyone reads canon differently, and that's fine, but he's never come across on screen as overly jealous, or like he'd hold a giant grudge about something Emma said or did (she told him she wished he was dead and he hugged her? He respected that), or Emma dating someone other than him. Especially at the point Neal died - he actively told Emma to go be happy, to find Tallahassee. Just because he's suddenly alive again in a game doesn't mean he gets to take that back and be less honorable. This is a man who laid down his life for her, to save everyone, but that absolutely does not mean she owes him anything. She is not obligated to fall all over Neal as if his death should change her entire opinion on whether or not she should pick him and love him in a game setting. The person who plays Emma may be okay with how you're playing this, but to others it's completely OOC.
You write Neal as very possessive of people he thinks should just be 'his.' He comes across as stand-offish and just plain immature. Like I said, I really don't know how to 'fix' that, other than to encourage you to watch more of his episodes and specifically focus on his voice.
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You write Neal as very possessive of people he thinks should just be 'his.' He comes across as stand-offish and just plain immature. Like I said, I really don't know how to 'fix' that, other than to encourage you to watch more of his episodes and specifically focus on his voice.